7th World Egg Throwing Championships: Team updates 20 Jun 2012
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7th World Egg Throwing Championships: Team updates
• Russia and Hong Kong now confirm
• Other confirmed teams, so far, flying in from Germany, Holland, Greece, South Africa, USA, Ireland, Sweden and New Zealand.
• England, unusually, not confident.
Led by philosophy expert, Eva On Ying Wu, the team are expected to use the Wu Wei method of egg identification. This is said to be the most ancient of all the egg sports originating from in the Shang Dynasty in Yinxu, circa 1200 BC.
Current World Champion at Russian Egg Roulette, Derryman, Paul Murphy intends to attempt to retain his title and has been practising hard much to the disgust of his long suffering wife and children but to the delight of his dog. Pauls wizarding skills appear to have been lost. He blames over work and has taken a short converlesence break, without his wife and children, in the Bahamas to prepare. They are still not happy.
Wild Willie O’Donovan, current Irish National Egg Throwing Champion, previous World Record holder and past All Ireland Road Bowling Champ intends to beat all comers with his famous tossing method which has to be seen to be believed. Some say that his strange sideways wind up action can only be the work of the dark arts whilst others claim his unnatural gait is due to a third arm joint. Whatever the secret, his ability to throw well over 100m will strike fear into all participants, particularly his unfortunate catcher.
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
This team of Texan wild cats have been hard at training at their Witchata base for many moons, determined to teach the Brits a lesson in “Egg Toss” and Russian Egg Roulette. With a team motto of “We knows our eggs” these Southern Belles are supremely confident that they will better the trebuchet attempts of the last American team to enter that, having over egged their machine, only managed to hurl eggs backwards into, what had been unil that moment, friendly crowds.
It is said that Dmitry has trained since the age of 3 in a special school for talented atheletes. He is probably the best they have and this, well honed, beefcake of a contender is sure to be a favourite amongst the ladies and so confident of winning that he is bringing with him his own TV crew to film the triumphant crushing of all others.
That certainly sounds a good plan and we hope it goes well for him. Just to ensure even handed coverage though the organsiers explain that they also have Dutch, German and Reuters TV cameras there as well.
A Technological marvel, genius Car maker, a sporting mecca, a Giant in the World of Sausages and Pork Knuckles, and true maestro in the art of brewing beer, but there is a sense of sadness. Perhaps even despair amongst her population. Trailing the all-time Olympic World Leader, the USA, by close to 1500 medals, suffering a disappointing Second Place in the Euro 2008, Third Place in the 2010 World Cup; Germany needs a dose of pride, a shot of respect and a reason to once again believe in themselves; this summer, that’s eggs-actly what they hope to achieve...
With flying shells of calcium and yolk, German Representatives Björn Heibeult and Timo Breunig are striding forth onto the World Stage for the egg-ceptionally unique glory found only in the World Championship Egg Throwing Competition. Incensed by their bitter rivals The Netherlands maintaining a firm grasp on the title, the boys have been hard at work, lobbing eggs great distances through the air, wearing their splattered remains with pride as they hone their skills in an effort to match the Worlds Best.
The current World Champions and World Record Holders have changed their team in order to improve their chances of retaining the title. The two top tossers Smink and Vissar are supported by a group of managers, trainers, physiotherapists and ergonomics specialists as they take on the Words best. Having won the title last year and sealed it further with wins in Ireland and Holland since then, they seek to improve on their World Record of 63.3m. Can it be done? Additionally, having said that the Germans “throw like a woman” they intend to prove the point and are bringing their own Dutch National pair of Female Egg Throwing Champs to thrash all comers.
Leaving behind the uncertainty of home they come seeking fame and hopefully fortune. The identical twin brothers, Kiris and Kostas Poulous, known as “Double Trouble” have assured us that they will crush all opposition from the Dutch and German teams saying “They have their ways of doing things, we have our own….. and ours is better”. Relatively late entries into this sport but they say history is on their side “We invented sport egg throwing, against the Persians in 480 BC at Thermopylae and we certainly left them with egg on their face.”
For the first time we have an African contestant and one who has high hopes of taking the Russian Egg Roulette title. Leo Houwing of Cape Town, flies in on the 22nd, leaving behind the cool South African winter and exchanging it for the scorching heat of England. An accomplished fencer (with swords, not erecter) and field hockey player of note his trainer and mother says “He’s got the right stuff and will bring pride to all of South Africa”
Whilst there is extreme disappointment that local hero Jake Wilkinson will be out due to a fractured ankle caused during training, there is some hope that John Ward, famed inventor of the “ward-a-matic automatic bra warmer” will keep the egg trebuchet title in English hands with his new invention of the “ward-a-matic egg flinging trebuchet”
Joel Hicks, World Gravy Wrestling Champion, will again be in attendance and acting as target for the Target Throwing event.
year’s events will be:
• Two person throw and catch
• Static relay.
• Target throwing
• Egg trebuchet
• Russian Egg Roulette.
Full information on the disciplines can be gained via www.eggthrowing.com.
The World Egg Throwing Championships are to be held on Sunday the 24th of June at Swaton in Lincolnshire and are be hosted by Swaton Vintage Day.
All monies raised by the event are used to support local, national and international good causes such ads Leukaemia Research, The Red Cross, Air Ambulance provision, Children’s Hospices, and Shelter Box.
No chickens will be hurt during the championships.
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